Maya Angelou once said,
“When people show you who they are, believe them.” This can be one of the hardest pieces of advice that I’ve ever tried to follow, but it is sage advice. When someone really shows you and tells you who they are, take them at their word. If someone you are dating cheats on you, see it.
When someone you love quits school because it’s not the right direction for them, hear them. When someone tells you that they have nothing left to give, believe them.
People know themselves far better than you know them. That is not to say that people can’t change down the road, but it does mean that when they are saying “this is who I am right now,” you can’t expect them to be someone else. Which leaves you in an empowering position. When you look at someone for who they are and not who you want them to be, you can decide if this is a healthy or unhealthy force in your life. You deserve to have healthy surroundings. If someone tells you over and over, “I love you, but I’m not healthy,” you have some decisions to make.
I know what you’re thinking, “But people can change! They can be what I envision for them!” This is unequivocally true – BUT, they will not change for you. They will not change within your time frame and you both have lives to live. Go live your life! If this person (friend, family, love) wants to be in your life, they will find the will to do the things that they have to in order to qualify for your definition of healthy. Just remember – that is on them, not you. If you find that your life has moved into a space that doesn’t include them any longer, wish them well! If you come back together and find that you mesh just right, invite them back in and continue the relationship. It is your path to navigate!
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