One of my opponents has a new ad, claiming that I will shut down all children’s lemonade stands.

Seriously.

He says that I won’t be acting alone, of course. I will do it in concert with my “progressive cronies” – the actual term in the ad. Presumably in return for corporate PAC contributions from Big Lemon.

My opponent also claims that my “progressive cronies” and I will make gasoline so expensive (specifically, $10 a gallon) that people will “stop traveling to Florida” – again, an actual quote from his ad. So Disney World will have to change its name to Ghost Town, I guess.

And, finally, my opponent says that people will no longer go hunting – the horror!! – because my “progressive cronies” and I will “outlaw guns and ammunition.” I have to concede the logic of the latter part of that. What would be the point of outlawing guns, but not ammunition? Wouldn’t it be really frustrating, having all that ammunition around, and not being able to shoot at anything?

Remarkably, my opponent says that I will accomplish all of this during 2013. Clearly, it will be a busy year.

I would like to assure my opponent, and all other right-wing paranoid crackpots, that I will neither eliminate children’s lemonade stands, nor triple the price of gasoline, nor outlaw guns and ammunition. If I have a secret plan to do any of those things, it’s so secret that even I don’t know about it. It’s like I’m the Manchurian Candidate, or something.

And while we’re on the subject, I would like to inform my opponent that there are a few more things that neither I nor my “progressive cronies” intend to do:

(1) Make abortions mandatory.
(2) Socialize the means of production.
(3) Outlaw heterosexual intercourse.
(4) Tax breathing, or urination.
(5) Take away his velvet painting of dogs playing poker.
(6) Nationalize his underwear.
(7) Fill the sky with black helicopters.
(8) Remove the tin foil from his skull.

One more thing that I promise we won’t do: we won’t prevent imbeciles from throwing their hats into the ring. So my opponent can run for President in 2016, when Barack Obama is finishing his second term.

Are we clear on that? Good. Now let’s get back to discussing the things that my opponent is so desperate not to talk about: Jobs, healthcare, homes and education. What’s that? He has nothing to say? That’s what I thought.

If you are sick and tired of wretched right-wingers hijacking public discourse with their stupid nonsense, raise your hand. Then lower your hand, and click on that “CONTRIBUTE” button below.

Courage,

Alan Grayson

~ politics petitions pollution and pop culture

Tell Congress: Women Can’t Afford More Tax Cuts for the Richest Two Percent

07/20/2012 Nativegrl77

It’s time for Congress to restore some fairness to the tax code. As early as next week, Congress will start to vote on whether to end — or extend — the Bush-era tax cuts for the richest two percent.

Extending the Bush-era tax cuts on income up to $250,000 per couple as President Obama has proposed would give 98 percent of Americans their full tax cuts next year. And the wealthiest two percent would still receive tax breaks on their first $250,000! We simply can’t afford to give even more tax breaks to those who need them least when so many women and families are struggling just to make ends meet.

Call your Members of Congress at 1-888-744-9958 and tell them that it’s time for the richest Americans to pay their fair share: we need to end the Bush tax cuts on income over $250,000.

Ending the Bush-era tax cuts on income above $250,000 would save about $1 trillion over the next ten years — funding that’s urgently needed to protect programs like child care, Pell Grants, Head Start, Medicaid, and Title X family planning services. It’s time to stop trying to balance the budget on the backs of women and families. The richest Americans need to start paying their fair share of taxes.

Can you take five minutes to make a call? Calling is easy. Dial 1-888-744-9958 and listen to easy instructions and a sample script.

Your Senators and Representative need to hear from you! Tell them that you expect them to stand up for women and families — and end the Bush tax cuts for the richest two percent!

Sincerely,

Joan Entmacher Vice President, Family Economic Security National Women’s Law Center

P.S. Know someone with a phone? Please multiply the power of your action by forwarding this to friends, family and colleagues who can help generate some calls.

Black History

CONGRESS: the Republican led House – back on 7/23 – the Senate

07/20/2012 Nativegrl77

Convenes: 2:00pmET July 23, 2012
Following the prayer and pledge, the Majority Leader will be recognized.
At 5:00pm, the Senate will proceed to Executive Session to consider Executive Calendar #663, the nomination of Michael A. Shipp, of NJ, to be United States District Judge for the District of New Jersey with 30 minutes of debate equally divided and controlled between Senators Leahy and Grassley or their designees.
As a reminder, cloture was filed on the Shipp nomination on Thursday, July 19^th. By unanimous consent, at 5:30pm on Monday, there will be a roll call vote on the motion to invoke cloture on the Shipp nomination.